Are you watching the game?

The 2nd preseason game against the Ravens is at halftime, so it is essentially over. Let me start off by saying how much I hate the faggot fucking Ravens and their harbaugh.

So here are my thoughts:

  • That was my motherfucking Lions offense you were watching tonight.
  • Stafford to Calvin is unstoppable.
  • Titus looked like black superman diving into the end zone.
  • Nice to see Brian Broyles, doesn’t look like he’s fully got his wheels yet, but he’s getting open and catching balls.
  • I think we’ve seen more of Nick Fairley this preseason than we did all of last year.
  • The refs had me cussing pretty loud over that bullshit facemask on Durrant.
  • Suh looks phenomenal and I expect a huge season for him.
  • Stefan Logan is lucky he was hurt and not my quarterback.
  • I’m already sick of hearing about Ray Lewis and wish he would retire.
  • Joey Harrington is going to be on the Fox pregame college show(what the fuck).
  • Nice to see Clifford back.
  • Is John Wendling the new preseason stud?

Ok homies, I’m gonna get back to the game and hope that I don’t have to suffer through too much of Kellen Moore, the 1st preseason game with him was honestly the most painful Lions football I can remember watching since 0-16.

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Reflections…

As the 2012 season approaches, I want to take one last look back at the magical 2011 season with a gay poem…

Do you know what is sweet
Matthew Stafford became elite

Megatron best in the game
Chuck, Roy, Mike, what a shame

Last year was so fucking great
What can I say
The Lions ruled every fucking day

Do you remember the best part
Roary puttin bitches on the cart

Every game there was a fight
But not being awful
Made them a pleasant sight

All of the comebacks, oh my
My heart almost stopped
I thought I would die

But Calvin and Matt
Are where it’s at

And where still so young
Still very hungry
Last year we saw
The start of a dynasty

Jahvid for 80
Fuck what a sight
I hope his head isn’t broken
I hope he’s alright

Calvin against the Queens
In OT down the seam
Best play I ever seen
What a beautiful thing

And don’t forget Suh’s kick
I’m still ok with it

Now it’s time that again
It’s all about to start
They call us dirty
Say were not smart

Were all alone
All on our own
To the rest of the world
You know what I say

FUCK YOU!

GO LIONS!!!

Will football please start already?

Hey there, I’ve been busy hibernating/masturbating, I call it hysternating. I could say that I’m burned out from putting like 500 drafts posts up, but that would be a lie. The truth is…

Yeah, that’s right, I’ve been running around keeping the galaxy safe for all you fucks. I know it’s nerdy, but I swear to God, this game is like crack. Star Wars: The Old Republic. I’m ‘Dray’ on the Hanharr server, you should join, and we will be dorks together.

Ok so let’s go over what I’ve missed in my video game coma.

So Calvin Johnson is throwing out pitches for a sub par baseball team as well as belting out dingers left and right. This dude is such a fucking physical specimen. Can you imagine any fat, lazy baseball player going onto professional football field and doing anything other than sweat? Me either.

Speaking of wide receivers, there appears to be a domestic situation between Louis Delmas and Young Titty. I guess YT belted Louis in his big beautiful gums or something. I’ve decide to withhold judgment, I’m not going to take sides and then be the bad guy when they eventually make up. I will say this though, I bet this is the type of thing that routinely happens across the NFL, the only difference is that some asshoe reporter caught wind of this, and then spread his wind all over the Metro Detroit Area. Jimmy is probably keeping this story alive by not commenting on it. But he’s probably just taking the same approach as me.

Now, the reason I decided to post. The Lions and Cliff Avril are 2 million dollars apart right now… Per year. Good bye Cliff, nice having you around, but get the fuck out of here. Do you know how much money 2 million dollars a year is in football terms? That is literally more than most players make, and this guy wants that much on top of what the Lions are offering. No thanks.

 

 

Dumb Shits!

 

 
Martin is a smart man.
He’ll make a lot of moves, But won’t tell you his plan.
He makes the beat writers sweat,
Lying out his mouth
He’s the best in the biz.

Yeah he found a wide receiver stud.
A Sooner hidden in the second surrounded by busts,
I wouldnt want to be a cornerback.
Cuz he’s coming for you,
Yeah he’s coming for you.

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

Jimmy works a long day.
He’ll be going home late,
yeah he’s going home late.
And he’s bringing us a surprise. ‘Cause were gonna be the best and its gonna be nice.

We’ve waited for a long time.
Matt’s got a strong hand
And is a quick pull trigger,
We finally have the talent here,
And say fuck Mike Valenti,
you don’t know jack shit, yeah.

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles
All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

[Whistling]

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

All the other picks that you wanted you dumb shits
Are gonna blow, Gonna blow, not Ryan Broyles

2012 Draft Recap/People Are Fucking Retarded!

The draft is over and the retards are out in full fucking force. Why? Because the Lions picked a stud wide receiver, that easily could have been a top-15 pick… At worst.

So why are the Drew Sharps and Mike Valentis and their retard minions mad, because they know jack shit about football, but what they do know is CORNERBACKS!

Were gonna take a look back at the 2009 draft:

Lions Picks/Valenits Picks

1.QB Matt Stafford -LT Andre Smith
20.TE Brandon Pettigrew-DT Peria Jerry
33.S Louis Delmas/DT Ron Brace

And do you know what Valenti said about his picks, “BOOK IT!” Well thank you Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for not allowing that asshole to make our picks.

Lets look at another player from the 2009 draft:

CB Alphonso Smith picked in the 2nd round with the 37th overall pick. I like him and think he’s a nice player, but if he was good, we wouldn’t need a corner, and guess what, if the Lions had selected him with the 20th or 33rd pick, he would be considered a BUST!

Thats the type of shit you have to keep in mind when evaluating a draft, especially the day after if it ends. If Martin and Jimmy think that Dre Kirkpatrick and Janoris Jenkins and whoever else is going to be like Alphonso Smith, do you want them to pick them to keep asshole beat writers happy?

I’m tired of hearing, we have to stop the saints, or the fudge, or the patriots, and we have to stop Brandon Marshall. Those fuckers have to stop us too, and don’t forget guys like Delmas, Houston, Levy, Tulloch, KVB, Avril, Fairley, Williams, and SUH! Our cubboards arent exactly bare. Not only do we have elite talent on defense, our defense is better than the saints, fudge, patriots or bears, “BOOK IT!”

Once I simmer down, i’ll get deeper into our picks…

We done?

Nope, not a CB this time. I think the Lions may be done drafting, bringing in OLB Travis Lewis with the 223rd pick that they traded up to get. Again, I know jack shit about him, but he is from big time school and should at least be able to contribute to special teams, while he develops.

Undrafted free agents should be coming soon, along with my 2012 draft recap.

Quanity & Quility.

With the 196th pick the Detroit Lions have selected CB Jonte(awesome) Green(we’ll se about that, I need a pic of this guy). So what the fuck is the deal with all the cornerbacks, I mean my God! Just kidding, there is going to be some serious competition in training camp, and there’s no telling whether any of these guys will get moved to safety.

On a side note, there are many quotes of Mayhew talking about how picky he is when it comes to CBs, because that was his position. This bodes very well for the Detroit Lions.

Damn trades!

The Lions arent done swapping yet. Oh ya I fucked up earlier, we didn’t give the queens our 7th rounder, we swapped 7th rounders. So in the 7th we fall back 4 spots.

This time we gave up our 158th pick along with our 2nd 7th rounder to move up to 148 and select CB Chris Greenwood. He’s from a small school, and I don’t know dick about him, but I have to suspect that if the Lions were willing to move up to take the guy, he is gonna be a typical awesome Mayhew pick.

Aint fucking around.

Damn, that was fast. We’ve ripped the queens off for their 138th pick. We had to give up a 4th(seems pricey, but im sure it was trade rape) next year and worthless 7th rounder this year #219.  The Lions are really working on improving their depth and special teams. They’ve added another quality linebacker in Tahir Whitehead(and you thought Ronnel was an awesome name). I could lie and pretend I know anything about him, but I don’t. I do trust Mayhew though and expect this guy to contribute, hopefully sooner than later.